One Shot
by amaltia
Summary: One shot: Sanzo is suffering from a severe nicotine withdrawal since Gojyo stole his last packet of cigarettes...which leads to an ultimate disaster. Shounen-ai (39). [Completed]


A/N: My very first one shot piece. An absolute failure, I think. But I have revised it so you won't completely drop dead after reading this. Actually, I should have revised this long ago, but I was too lazy. Thank you very much to blinkie-sama for the great CC!!   
*holds out package of tissue's to readers* You might need this. Don't forget to review, please!   
~~~~~

"Shoot yourself!" 

"Is that what you want, Sanzo?" Goku's tearful face tilted up to stare into the muscular back of the monk in front of him. 

"Just leave me alone! Stop bothering me!" Sanzo was suffering from severe nicotine withdrawal and was in no mood to put up with the annoying eighteen year old. _ Damn Gojyo to the deepest pits of hell! _ That ero kappa had stolen and finished Sanzo's last packet of cigarettes. 

Sanzo was jerked out of his angry musings by the soft click of the door being closed, and he sighed happily. Goku had finally gotten the hint. 

Goku walked out of the inn, to the beach, holding the Smith & Wesson in his hand. He stopped when he arrived at the shoreline and looked at the seemingly endless stretch of water. 

_ Sanzo doesn't want me._ Goku sighed pitifully and looked down at the gun in his hands. _It's been three years that we've travelled together, and I've known him for even longer than that. And he has never shown once that he cares for me. It's my fault, probably. I always anger him by whining for food and fighting with Gojyo._

Goku thought back to the time when Sanzo had protected him from Rikudo, nearly dying himself. He thought of what happened after, when he has managed to ask Sanzo why... 

"Because I'm your guardian and it's my job to protect you."

Goku closed his eyes and smiled bitterly at the memory. _It's his job to protect me. He doesn't want to do it. He's forced to._

Goku stared at the ocean and smiled at the simple beauty of the scene before him. Then he looked at the seagulls floating lazily overhead and yelled, "Hey you seagulls? You know what I'm going to do?" He looked back down at the gun and whispered, "The only thing I should do if I'm not wanted. I don't want to be a burden for Sanzo. I've troubled him long enough."

Inside the inn, the monk's gaze suddenly flickered to the desk, where he had left his Smith & Wesson, and he swore loudly. 

Racing out of the inn, Sanzo headed towards the beach, the obvious destination of the saru, who had been marveled by the majestic beauty of the ocean. Sanzo's eyes centered upon a small figure standing on the shore and he ran faster, ignoring a deep feeling of dread that surrounded him.

"GOKU! GOKU!" It was useless, the waves swallowed up his panicked cries. Then Goku raised the gun and placed the muzzle in his mouth. A steady finger squeezed the trigger.

BANG. One shot was heard.The small figure swayed, and then crumpled onto the sand. Sanzo fell to his knees and cradled Goku's head in his lap. He was shocked when a tear traced its way slowly down his cheek and splashed onto Goku's face. Goku opened his eyes with difficulty and focused on the monk.

"You came…" Goku managed to half smile.

"Of course I came, you bakazaru! Of course…"

Goku coughed and blood trickled out the corner of his mouth, "Sorry, Sanzo…" he choked, "…so sorry…"

"Don't say that! Everything is going to be alright! Just don't die!" Waves of panic washed over Sanzo and he was overwhelmed by the foreign sensation. _Could it be...that I cared for this saru more than I thought I did?_

"Koishiteru…" Goku whispered.

And it was then that Sanzo knew. "I...I love you too..." Sanzo managed to murmur. Goku's eyes filled with delight, and then they closed for the last time. 

Sanzo glanced up at the clear, blue sky and remarked softly to himself, "So I was wrong. Bad things don't only happen when it's raining." 

_This is my fault. I should have known how much the saru cared for me. I should have been a bit nicer...and now all I am left with is guilt. I'm tired of living with guilt. That's all a person has, in the end._

Sanzo picked up the gun and stared at it. _ I chose a gun for a specific reason, _he thought,_ to make sure I'd have an easy way out when things got tough. Maybe now is the time to stop suffering._ He then placed it to his temple and pulled the trigger. 

Sanzo opened his eyes wearily._ What the-?_ He tried to sit up but could barely move his own body. Slowly, he moved his hand up and felt the rough bandages wrapped around his head. Hakkai rushed over. 

"Sanzo! Thank god you are alive! I wasn't sure you'd make it…" Hakkai trailed off softly, "What happened?"

"Goku? Where's Goku?"

Hakkai refused to meet the angry amethyst eyes glaring at him, "He's…" A tear raced down the healer's face. Then Hakkai pulled out a packet of cigarettes and pressed them into the monk's hand, "Here, I bought some for you."

Sanzo accepted the packet wordlessly and Hakkai left the room. Sanzo tried to throw the packet across the room but his hand dropped to his side, exhausted, and the cigarettes fell on to the floor next to his bed.

"I never did anything right in my life… I couldn't even end it properly."


End file.
